My very First

Mile 9 felt almost as good as mile one did. I was just beginning to feel the pangs of fatigue in the muscles of my calves and ankles as I bounded around another corner and down another street. Bobbing and weaving I made my way through clumps of people who were also making their way past buildings and street lamps. I cheered loudly when I saw the sign indicating we conquered another mile. I had conquered another mile. We made our way onto a new street amongst on-lookers who cheered and celebrated with us. After months of training and practice I was going to finish this race. Months back I completed the first 5k I had done in a long time and felt invigorated by the experience. I had tasted the victory of finishing a race and wanted more. I went home from that experience and made a decision. I’d been telling myself for years that I was going to run a half marathon and hadn’t moved forward on that dream. It was time that I did what I set out to do. Somewhere, the rubber must meet the road. I considered when I would complete this first race. I realized I would need to consider the timing of a race as I had never run 13.1 miles in my life prior. I needed to know what I was up against. So, I began an online search of how long a new runner should train for a half marathon. The opinions differed but the general census seemed to be 15 to 20 weeks. But I knew that if I signed up for a race so soon I would find myself stressed, anxious and would probably burn out. I needed more lead time. I began to build a more gradual training plan for myself and worked to find a race that would match where I was mentally. In my research I found a half marathon that was taking place that year, in September. In fact, it was taking place only 2 days past my 30th birthday. I thought, “This is perfect! It’s the best way to celebrate the end of one decade of my life and to ring in a new one.” I hesitated no longer and registered to be added to the list of thousands of individuals who were starting their first half marathon. We had to start somewhere. Registering was the easy part... I knew that if I was going to make this race and finish I would have to train. I began putting my plan into action in May of 2017. I soon found that running long distances has a way of helping you to reflect on your life, your shortcomings and your feelings about things in general. In the months before the half marathon I spent many hours on the road by myself. Houses, trees, cars would all fly by as I made my way down the streets and roads within a specified radius from my house. My long run began with 6 miles, then worked up to 8, 10, 12. Before I knew it I was doing between 8 and 12 miles each Saturday in preparation for my race. I even did a whole 13 miles for a long run as I wanted to know what the true half marathon distance would feel like. There were days I felt like I could conquer the world and then there were days where I wished I hadn’t gotten out of bed that morning. But I wanted to press on and press on I did. This whole experience was an opportunity for me to learn more about myself. I realized that my natural competitiveness (probably born out of my performance-oriented A type personality) was getting in the way of my enjoyment of the experience and that I didn’t have to prove myself, I could just be. All I had to do was run, no one was keeping score. September 23rd, 2017, Race Day! All the training days culminated into this one event. I planned, I trained, and I persevered. Now I was ready to put my toe on the starting line and begin this race. This race meant that I was continuing to move forward in life. No longer would I let fear or doubt creep in and keep me from trying new things or achieving something. I was reaching a new phase in my life and wanted to celebrate that. The race was the best way to do so. I stood amid the crowd of other runners as I had in my first race. But, the pang of feeling like I didn’t belong no longer crept into my mind. Instead the only feeling that was plastered in my mind was “I’m ready,” and I felt like I was about to conquer something bigger than me. Before I knew it, the race had begun… A half marathon is a journey, it’s a chance to sit inside your thoughts while you move your feet mile after mile. For me it’s an opportunity for catharsis. I’m allowed to be still in my thoughts. This is a small miracle for a mind that is constantly filled with chaotic happenings, obsessive time keeping and personal expectations. Somehow, my mind begins to slow down the minute I step out the door. And on race day, my mind has one focus, finish the race! But it wasn’t enough to just finish the race, I knew that I would also need to battle the side of my brain that always wants to perform, that is constantly looking for me to win and come out on top. I knew at the beginning that this was not possible as I was not likely to win any prizes in this race. So, I would have to change my whole frame of reference for this race. Instead of battling over not being the best, I decided it was time to encourage others. After all, we were all here working our way through 13 miles of running and battling our thoughts to stop and rest. I could be the voice to let others find their courage to keep going. I began to encourage the other runners around me as much as I could. In fact, I made it my new challenge. See how many people I could encourage as I passed by. It was the best way to compete and helped me to make it through the race without tears, frustration and disappointment. I was winning by helping others to reach their potential, to move forward even when the challenge got tough. They could finish this race just as I could. So, mile 9 came along and I was ecstatic. I truly was going to finish this thing. Only four more miles to go and plenty more people to cheer on in between mile 9 and the finish. Miles 10 and 11 is where the soreness really started to kick in and I felt the first pangs of stiffness in my limbs. My natural inclination was to get fearful and discouraged. My body was starting to fall apart and there wasn’t much that I could physically do about it. I brought back the fact that it was going to get tough toward the end and I would have to rely on mental strength to get through. I looked around at the runners around me and noticed a couple to my right, they were struggling as well but were still moving. If they could keep going, so could I. And I could continue to get outside of myself and cheer them on as we made our way through the last few miles. Only a few miles left… I don’t remember what miles 11 and 12 felt like, I was probably in “let’s get this thing done,” mode and only focused on getting through to the end. Before I realized it the 13-mile marker came into view and I felt the surge in my muscles as my legs began to charge forward. I passed the marker and repeated to myself, “Just .1 of a mile, that’s it!” In my sights was the finish line… I was almost at the finish line! I briefly looked around at the hordes of people waving and cheering on both sides of the street. Nothing was going to stop me from crossing that line. It is hard for me to describe how I felt as I watched the finish line quickly inch toward me. I was ecstatic and slightly in disbelief, this goal I kept in the back of my mind for years and never truly thought I would complete was finally come to fruition. Not only that, but the girl who thought she could never run was running… she was running and had done so for 13.1 miles. I grinned as I pounded out those last few steps of pavement. I was my own champion, the one who could do anything she set her mind to with practice and perseverance. And so, I crossed the finish line and the journey ended. Moving through the fanfare of the post finish line area, a volunteer placed a new medal around my neck and I continued to move through the crowd. That medal symbolized a turning point in my life. No longer would I stop when something became hard, I would continue until I saw it to completion because I could handle it. So, two days after my 30th birthday, I finished my first half marathon. A few minutes after that first half marathon I made the quick decision that it would not be my last, only my first. It was just the beginning for me.